Thursday, April 22, 2010

Kiley - No family, no home, nothing but a suitcase, some books and a laptop

First of Kiley is a guy.  He's my son's closest friend from high school.  My son didn't have many friends as most of his school years were not in the local school.  Chris, our adopted son, had lots of special needs and our school farmed him out.  (I will be posting about Chris and his adoption soon)  Anyway, back to Kiley.
Kiley lived with his mother and grandmother for the first 13(?) years.  His mother drank too much and died in a car crash.  When his grandmother decided she couldn't care for Kiley she put him up for adoption.  A family in our small town adopted him.  They never bonded.  So off Kiley went to live with another family from his church.  Kiley is a smart person but social skills are a little lacking.  (That's not his fault).  Throughout high school he was my son's friend.  After graduation Kiley went to Utah to college.  That didn't go well.  He stopped going to classes and stayed in his dorm and  was on his computer constantly.  When he came home from college in the summer he came to live with us.  We told him he had three months to decide what he wanted to do.  Our son's disabilities keep him from being able to work.  So Kiley and Chris spent all summer playing computer games.  Kiley had no interest in doing anything or planning for when his three months were up.  After having a discussion with his last family we decided we had to try some "tough" love.  Kiley's father, yes he has one, lives in Alaska.  He is an alcoholic, Viet Nam vet, and on disability.  Kiley hadn't seen him for over 10 years.  We thought he should go see him.  Maybe it was the missing link for Kiley.  Since he was the only family Kiley had we thought that maybe his father could take some responsibility.  Once again that didn't work out.  To shorten the story....Kiley then was on his own.  He had a temp job in a book store.  My son wanted to visit.  So off he flew.  Still can't believe that he made it there on his own.  What an accomplishment.  He was there for 3 months.  Near  the end of this time, they had all their money stolen and were sleeping on the streets in November in Alaska.  We got Chris back home and into an apartment.  Kiley lasted, barely,  for a couple more years.  That leads us to the present.  Kiley finally a got a decent job,  and saved enough money to fly back to Ohio where we live.  We picked him up at the airport.  One suitcase, some books and a laptop..........all he had.  He is now living with our son.  Chris is on disability so Kiley has promised he will get a job.  Neither of them drive.....
Last night was Kiley's birthday.  We took the guys out for dinner.  My husband gave Kiley some money.  Afterwards, when we got home, we both said how sorry we felt for him.  He has no one, except Chris.  Chris is barely able to live alone so having company is awesome to him.  We have worries, needless to say.  Can you imagine not having a family.  Not having anyone.  It really is sad.  Even though Kiley is an adult he's still a kid without a family.
SO sorry this is so long.........I really needed to put this down in words.


K-Falls Farmgirl Cheryl said...

It sounds like HE does have a family who care....I am glad he has your family.. God Bless you all..Kiley will make it.. these hardships make him strong and build his character. Leave him to his choices if they are healthy. I have learned not everyone thinks like me but a friendship is a valuable asset.

Anonymous said...

Your Chris sounds like a very special man to me to have been such a wonderful friend to Kiley. Everyone needs someone to care for them and your Chris is doing that. Sounds like you and your husband are doing very well at that too. Bless you all for being there for him. Hugs

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Nan said...

Debby I read this story and it's sad but don't go on feeling sorry for Kiley you all did your part and beyond. Kiley now has a good chance to make it or depend on you and your son helping him out the rest of his life. I'm looking at this from the outside not knowing personally any of you but that's how I see it no offence. Nan

Linda said...

I think we are all so protected in our lives we don't even think of people like Kiley. What a story. I sure hope he can make it. I came to via Maggie's blog. I'll be back to visit again.