Sunday, July 5, 2015

Fireworks continue

Test I hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday. Life continues to throw curve balls. Youngest still continues to have drama. Every time I post what is going on it changes once again. We are trying to stay strong. Last week-end he was in the ER two nights in a row. A back injury and then a break down. Not a total one, just one of the times when he gets overwhelmed. My mom fell once again. She has a rod in her leg to her hip so that she can't break her leg or hip. This time it was her pelvis that fractured. She spent three days in the hospital and now is in rehab. She refuses assisted living and tells the doctors she has help at home to get released. She doesn't. I think she assumes it will be me. I was there all last week. I even had to put her beloved dog to sleep. Yes, second Yorkie in a short time. Hers was 15 and crying constantly from pain. My only other sibling says don't upset her about the help. He will be home the 20th. He had set that date before his fall. No change of plans for him. He lives in Alabama. My mom will be released this week. Until then, I guess they assume that I will do it all. She is demanding and critical about everything I do. She always has been. She refuses to listen to anyone that she can't continue to do what she does. She just goes ahead anyway. I came home on Friday. Yesterday we went to our village parade. They close the town down for four days and have a street fair, entertainment, food and lots of class reunions. Missed all but the parade. When our kids were little we spent every waking hour downtown working or just having fun. We had another showing on Thursday. My husband took off work because I couldn't be here. He has to take off work every time she goes into the hospital. Lots of interest but no offers. A condo where we wanted to go came available. We went to look at it today. Unless we get an offer really quick, it will sell before we can buy it. Hank went with me and helped keep me company. It was rough because my dog didn't like him. While we were gone his big brother Piper was depressed. You should have seen him run to the puppy when I got home. They play non-stop. I am going back to check on my mom tomorrow. I don't think I will stay over. She has a list of outfits and shoes that she wants brought to her. It's a two hour drive. So I will be on the road for four hours. She could leave the rehab at any time. They never give you warning. Sorry to be so negative. We have been down this path many times before. It's always about three weeks before my life returns to normal. Best wished for a good week for you all.


Susie said...

Debby, From what I read...sounds like your mother needs to be in assisted living...She could fall again....who finds her when she falls? It's so scary. I hope when the time comes for something like that in my future, that I am willing to give up things and live a nice quiet life with people my own age. Some times homes are more fun and better care than people have at home by themselves. The care of ailing parents is usually done by one or two...never shared equally. I wish you the best..I will be thinking of you and have you in my prayers and your mother. xoxo,Susie

Miss Merry said...

Oh Debby. I have been there. I am not sure anyone can ever be in your shoes, but I know something of what you are dealing with. First my mother was diagnosed with ALS and after her death my father had congestive heart failure with leukemia and then suffered a stroke. Running your own life and then adding in parents who require more care than a child is rough. They want to stay independent and are totally oblivious to the havoc it creates for you. I know all about how quickly they release. They released my dad who could not find his way to his front door from his mail box because he said his "girl friend" was moving in. I told them she was going on a trip to California, but they released him anyway. I had to quit my job and move in with him until I could convince the VA he could not live alone and would qualify for assisted living. He would have a "good day" when he was interviewed. Trust me, as soon as he moved in, they apologized. He would get lost daily. They had to distribute his picture all over the facility. When he could not breath one night, he called me on his cell phone instead of pulling the cord for the nurse. I had to call the facility on another line to get him help. I was at the facility daily for some reason or another, but at least I could sleep at home. After he passed, a mentally ill family member moved in with me. I cannot even verbalize that year long nightmare except that I am astonished that my husband and I are still married. He is not in our home, but as you know, the nightmare continues. Of course everyone else has moved states away and I am the one here. They all "appreciate" what I do.

You are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself the best you can. I wish your home would sell quickly so that one burdon could be lifted. And I wish you the best with your mom. I know that she does not appreciate all you do, but I do. I know that it will be hard to find a place for her - waiting lists are ridiculous and cost are prohibitive. And the elderly do have rights and they have the right to make really, really bad decisions for themselves. And then we get to pick up the pieces. (Hugs)

Julia said...

Oh man Debbie. It sounds like you are living in a nightmare.Things are coming undone. I hope things gets better for you soon and that your home sells. Can you lower the price maybe so it will sell faster?


Simple and serene living Laura Walker said...

Debbie, I am so sorry to hear all of the hard things you have going on. Have you tries talking to a social worker while your mom is in the hospital. It doesn't sound as if your mom is able to take care of herself and you should not have the entire burden placed on you. it is not okay for her to treat you disrespectfully. I am thinking of you. xo Laura

Gina said...

I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this Debby. Hang in there! Brighter days are ahead.

vivian said...

Yikes Deb. thats a lot on your plate. Just be sure to take care of yourself too. and find something pleasant in each day for yourself to enjoy. Im sure your mom is grateful to have your assistance. I'd say shes very lucky to have you and you her. Im glad your brothers coming up and maybe you can get a little relief while hes there.
hang in there girlfriend!

Musings from Kim K. said...

Please know that I'm thinking of you. Extra hugs and prayers. Lots on your plate once again. It doesn't quite seem fair. XOXO

Delena said...

Debby, Gees life sure can throw some curve balls from time to time. I hope things get better for you soon.