Wednesday, June 18, 2014
I need my bloggy friends
It explains my post today.
I have been so stressed about getting this house ready that I not only made myself sick but I had an accident pumping gas yesterday. I sprayed myself with tons of gas . All over the front of me including eyes and mouth. I did go to urgent care and had my eyes checked. I am okay now but it was a bit of a panic trying to get some help when it happened. I took my top off in the Walmart gas station lot. Yep, I did. I had a jacket in the car that I put on......I had to get some of the gas off. I know it was from being careless and too stressed. Time to slow things down.
But the real reason for this post. I saw a surgeon today for a lump I found 3 weeks ago. It's in my leg/groin area. When I first felt it I didn't think much about it. But it is presenting so much like the liposarcomas I had over 20 years ago. Same location but other side. I had to wait to be scheduled to see the surgeon. But that was never done. I got the surgeons number and called myself yesterday. They saw me today. The doctor is concerned that if this is cancer again that the pelvis may be involved since I have had these things on both sides . So in two to three days (more likely next week) I will have the lumps that are near the surface removed and tested. If they are positive they will probably the same time do an exploratory to see if there are sarcomas deeper. They tend to be deep and close to the muscle. I will be having a cat scan right before the surgery. The doctor said it may or may not be helpful. He said if the pelvis is involved he will stop the surgery and we will need to talk. Of course we know that won't be good.
Now, I have been here before. I was so frightened then because my children were so young. Since then we adopted another child but they are all adults now. I know more now than I did before about this kind of cancer. I'm not worried about the surgery, the pain or following treatments. I do need to stay positive and have patience.
I hope that I can come back on here and say oops, false alarm. But I think it is cancer and I think the doctor does as well. You don't notice these until they cause other problems. Only one in 10,000 lipomas are sarcomas. They are totally different but share the same name.
The doctor asked if I had plans or obligations coming up. Nothing that is more important than this. I am having a garage sale Saturday that I would like to get through. Mainly because of the stuff being around when they start showing the house. Yes, that will continue, somehow, as we really need to sell now more than ever. I may ask for help to keep the house in order.
Okay, I made it through all of this without a tear but feel them nearing.
I am okay, just need some prayers and positive thoughts about what's ahead. It would be nice for this all to go away but it's not going to just yet. On the way to the appointment today I prayed. I prayed for God to help me get through what needed to be done.
You know when you feel the need to talk to a friend. Well I have friends that I can talk to but I also consider so many of you as close friends. So that's why I have told you about this. I just need my blogging buddies.
Love to you all.