Thursday, August 29, 2013

My thoughts on this Thursday

I will start this on a positive note.  I am challenging you to make a list of Twenty Things that you have always wanted to do.  Write them in a journal so we can post them later.  Maybe I will do a linky thing.  Never have, but there is first time for anything.  SO, get started.  Take your time and put thought into it.  Let me know if you are on board.  Don't think of it as a bucket list.  All positive things.......I think this will be fun.  No commitment other than your wishes.  How about we give this a deadline of October 1st.  Please join in.
My thoughts today...........
Where is everyone?  I haven't seen posts for so many for so long.  I know summer is a busy time but you are missed.
Last night I took my youngest to Urgent Care.  He is our adopted son that is 27.  He has a little ache or pain and thinks it is an emergency.  It happens all the time.  So hard to know if it is something serious.  I think he just doesn't know how to handle life........and that is part of his disability.  He is extremely over weight.  We try so hard to encourage him to loose weight.  He won't do any kind of exercise.  He just refuses to walk or do anything.  He eats things that aren't good for him.  He was weighed the other day at the doctors.  I asked how much he weighed.  He said that he topped the scale and he wasn't sure because the scale only goes so high.  I know I am overweight as well but I do try to stay healthy.  I can't begin to tell you how many times we have taken him to the ER.  My poor husband has gone so many times in the middle of the night.  When my son has a melt down he knows exactly how to get admitted.  So you get the picture.  Well last night a friend of mine called.  I haven't seen her for several years. She has two adopted children as well.  They don't have disabilities.  They fight all the time.  Well she told me that I was so mean to my son.  She said that I signed up for this.  She said that he would have died had we not taken him in.  That's probably true.  She also said that we took in this cute little boy and when he had problems we had a hard time dealing with that. Say what..........oh what we have been though.   There are so many stories that you would never believe.  School was just awful.  I earned every white hair.  I know that my husband has more patience with him than I do, but I do love him.  I want a better life for him.  I just get so upset that he won't help himself.  But being mean to him.....that hurts.  I will try to be nicer, I will.  As soon as I post this I have to go get his meds and take them to his apartment.  I waited hours in the hot car last night while he was being seen.  On Monday the baby I watch and I waited as he saw his other doctor.  My husband does way more than I do.  Oh is what it is.
While at the Urgent Care, a teenager came in.  He could hardly walk.  He had on soccer first thought was a head injury.  It was just one of those feelings that you know is something seriously.  Then I hear the squad getting closer and closer and suddenly it was at the Urgent Care.  The nurses held the door open and said something about the doctor saying to hurry and about meningitis.   I have heard since that he had crashed heads with another player and that he was at Children's with viral meningitis.  Pray for this boy. 
My sweet Mabel told me on the phone that she loved me "more" when I told her I loved her.  Ahhhhh.....later she said to Heaven.  I asked her to call after her first day of pre-school.......and she did that as soon as she got picked up.  She was so excited.
I am ready for fall.........not rushing time......but ready for cooler temps.
Thanks for letting me vent.  You know how it is when you can't get something off your mind.  Just the thought of someone thinking I was mean is difficult for me .
I have changed my email address to:  I'm not sure that it is working.  I hesitated for so long because I worried about my blog getting messed up.  It automatically changed......shocker.  Maybe now I can get your emails.
I was able to finally get the banner picture up on my header.  Now that summer is almost over.  Oh well, it may still be there next summer.
Thanks my friends.  I hope you are having a good week.


Julia said...

So sorry about your troubles. I feel bad that you are feeling bad. It's easy to judge people... if only that lady would walk a mile in your shoes before she judged you.

Your son definitely needs help. He might listen to someone like Dr Phil.

Hope your day goes smooth.

Miss Merry said...

Yikes - don't call Dr Phil. We had a family locally on the show and they completely turned around the reason the family called and tried to pit the family against each other before the show and during the interview. A total waste of time and an embarrassment to the family.

It sounds like you were and are the best mom you can be. The older I get, the more I realize that you can only do so much when raising children, whether adopted or birth. Look at families where each child was raised the same. One child can be a doctor and the other a drug addict. In my circle of average middle class women in our fifties, three are raising grandchildren, in addition to running a home and having a full-time job. None thought this would ever happen. I had some of these moms in my 4-H club. They were bright ambitious young ladies raised by loving parents. You can only do what you can do.

I do agree therapy could help him. First, he needs to want help. Second, you would have to find something affordable.

In the meantime, PRAYERS!

Lutka And Co. said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through difficult times. I think sometimes, people say things without really thinking and meaning what they say. I do take it to heart when someone says something hurtful. But really, it's usually that there's something going on with them. It's not you. It sounds like you did/do everything that you could. And that's all that really counts. I hope your son does get the help that he needs. Sending you prayers and good thoughts.

NanaDiana said...

Hi Debby. I wonder if your friend thought about how MEAN SHE was being when she accused YOU of being mean? I think we should never judge how someone else acts/reacts until we have lived in their shoes.

I know how hard it is to deal with someone that has not only physical issues but mental issues as well. You are doing just what you are supposed to do, Debby, and don't let anyone shame you into feeling bad.

I think that list sounds like fun-

Love you girl-Hang in there- xo Diana ps- praying for that young man that came into the ER.

Debbie said...

Oh Debby, I can't believe a friend would say something like that. Obviously she has not dealt with what you and your hubby has. I agree with Diana, she was just plain mean for saying that. I too, am overweight and disabled, but try my darndest to keep moving. I will not give up!! You know tough love is the best love with some people.
That young man who came to the urgent care and transferred will be in my prayers.
Keep the faith Debby. There's only so much that you can do!!

God Bless~

Stephanie said...

Hi dear Debby! It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and I am sorry for your difficulties. I am also sorry about your "friend" saying you were mean to your son. It's a shame we can so easily accuse someone of something when we don't really know what is going on and what the home life is like. You are precious, Debby, and I have no doubt that you're a wonderful mother.

Blessings to you and many hugs!

Donna said...

Hi Debby,
sorry to hear about your trip to the er with your son! I hope things are going better for you both! Love your idea of making a list of 20 things. Let's see, what would I like to do??? You have got me thinking!
Have a great day!

Winkel's Crazy Ideas said...

Hello, just wanted to send my support in your difficult situation. I am so sorry to hear about the troubles you and your husband have to tackle. Being a parent can be difficult and sometimes down right very tough. It struck me that your friend should have been just that: a friend, and not run you down and hurt your feelings. A hug from Norway to you! About the twenty things challenge, l'm in! I will get my journal out and make some notes this ev. I have been a bad blogger this summer, but not intentionally. My health has been playing up again in the heat. Hope you have a lovely weekend, Pam xx

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Hi Debbie, I'm with Nana Diana, and I would also be asking if the friend was really that if she spoke to me like she did to you...


Susie said...

Debby, Will you hug your son for me. I know he must wish he could change, but it's so hard to loss weight, even with parents' encouragement. I will pray for him. You are a good person Debby. blessings to all of you.xoxo,Susie

Laura Adams said...

Hang in there Debbie, no one said life was going to be easy right? No one is perfect... maybe your friend shouldn't be so judgemental ... or maybe it is her way of getting you to look at the situation in a different way. I don't know the answer....I just know that I am not perfect ...and I try to do the best that I possibly can do, learning along the journey of life.
Bless you,

Pam Kessler said...

You know, you probably didn't think that you were going to spend so much energy on a 27 year old either. Most kids at that age are off on their own and deal with everything themselves. It must be hard to realize that your parental duties aren't lessening as he gets older. Scary about the kid at urgent care. Glad they called the squad for him.