Monday, August 27, 2012

A sweet wedding but with mixed emotions

My cousin Jo has been gone now a year and a half. Her husband got married this week-end. I am thrilled for him. He is such a wonderful man and he suffered so much when she died. When we pulled up to the lane to the house this is what we saw. His nick name is Duck although Jo called him Ted as in Teddy Bear. The bride name is Catherine and she goes by Cat. Jo's yellow bug was right there. She bought her bug because I had one. We had fun both having them. Big sigh when I saw this.
Steve (Duck) has several homes. This is the main one......on a farm. Although he grew up on a farm, this isn't a working farm. He leases the land and the home is in the middle of corn fields. The vows were exchanged on the back porch as you see here. So many of my pictures were blurry. Her two daughters stood up with them.
This one is really blurry but such a cute picture. The vows were finished and I don't think they had planned on what to do next. The bride said I guess we will just go on in and eat.
This very pregnant cat would not leave the back porch. During the ceremony she drank from the fountain just behind the couple. Cat wanted a cat. She said this one was Jo's wild cat that she feed for several years. But Cat said.....this one is full of kittens.
This is my cousin Dan and his wife. (Jo's brother) This is Harley his first grandchild. We sat on these bales of hay. The rocking chairs were for the brides parents and another couple. The fountain was in front of the chairs. I must say the hay was not too comfortable and it stuck on all our clothes. I would suggest using white sheets over them.
They have a huge barn that they used for the reception. These were table decorations. There were vases of fancy sparklers with a verse written by her daughters.
The sun started to set and they opened up that end of the was beautiful. Lots of pictures of the family were taken outside. My pictures don't do it justice. You can't see Steve's shoes. They were khaki saddle shoes. He looked so cute and the bride was beautiful. She carried that gown all night like that.
The porch after dark.......those curtains on the door were a little wacky when the picture was taken.
They hung all the strands of little lights and some chandies. They had dinner catered. The grooms sister makes cakes and she had a red velvet wedding cake. Also lots of other sweet treats. There was a DJ but while we were there no one was dancing. It was a pretty quiet reception. Lots of visiting. I hadn't seen Steve's family since Jo's service and since we were all together in Florida saying good bye. We all got pretty close during that sad time.
Our table consisted of Dan, his wife, one of his sons and his wife and Harley, Jo's best friend and husband and Mr. Cozy and I. ( Some of our family members felt it was too soon for them to marry and they were not present.) During the wedding we all sat together. There were some sniffles and we were afraid to look at each other. Just little things made me a little sad. Her flowers that she had planted, walking into her home, the car, Steve's family......but it was good seeing him so happy. He had a bit of saddness as well. Those of us that knew him could tell. His wife just patted him on the back. She is so understanding. I am hoping they have many happy years ahead.


Shabbygal said...

I'm sure it was bittersweet! I'm going through something similar right now my dad. My mom has been gone a year and he started dating two months later and now talks about moving in with her. I know he suffered when she was sick and dying it's just hard to see him with someone else. I know he's happy and I guess that's all that matters. I love those lights they had in the barn! So pretty! Traci

Pam said...

Well, it looks like a pretty wedding. I've seen more and more people have barn weddings lately. I guess they didn't think about the itch factor on the hay bales? My sister died about 1 1/2 years ago and I think I would feint if my BIL was getting married about now. It just doesn't seem like enough time to grieve, recover and then date enough to know that this is THE person for you. Glad you were able to meet up with all the relatives from out of state.

Maggie M said...

It looks like the wedding was very nice. My nephew and his wife had a barn wedding. I know it must have been bittersweet for you while watching the wedding take place. You probably enjoyed seeing and visiting with the people though. Hugs sweet Debby

Kimberly said...

that is bittersweet. My friend Kim - her husband died about 2 years ago. She is getting married in September. Alot of people thought it was too soon. I was just so happy she found someone. I have seen with my Mom passing and the way my Dad is - - -people need people. Kim is excited and sad at the same time.

Miss Merry said...

Kimberly is right - bittersweet is the word. It is so hard to lose a spouse and I think men, widowers, are even worse at coping. It sounds like he has found someone that doesnt' mind sharing him with his memories and that is a good thing. God Bless.

Julia said...

A barn wedding , pretty cool...

As a person ages, we see ourselves with just so many years left to live and we don't have any guarantee how long we will live and living alone for a man is much tougher than for a woman I'm told.

Usually the wife takes care of her husband and when she's gone he has to take care of himself and for some they find it very difficult. He can't bring back his wife or he would have brought her back, I'm sure...

In Matthew 22:25-30 Jesus explains that even if the seven brothers had married the same woman at one time, even the last husband wasn't her husband when she died, as in the resurrection no one is given in marriage or needs to be married because they live like angels.

A year and a half is a long time to morn alone , and I'm sure he still has some residual love for his former wife and he needs to get on with his life while he still can.
I hope that his family will understand and that they will wish him happiness because it comes from God.

I hope that I didn't put my foot in my mouth. I tend to rationalize a lot as you may have noticed.
Hugs, JB

Carlene @ Organized Clutter said...

I think a lot of men have a harder time living alone than women when they are widowed. I have seen a lot of men remarry in less than a year and I am sure they loved their first wives.

Gina said...

It looked like a lovely wedding, although bittersweet at times.

NanaDiana said...

I read every word, Debby. What a wonderful, but bittersweet, day. I am glad for him-knowing what a good man he is- that he is moving forward and partnering with someone for his life. God bless them. I am so glad you went to the wedding- that made it extra special for him, I am sure- Beautiful decorations and celebration- xo Diana

pogonip said...

I firmly believe that remarrying after losing your partner is a tribute to the love and joy you felt. Too soon? Not if you find the right one again. But that's just me.

Wishing you more sweet than bitter as you remember dear Jo.

Between You and Me said...

sounds like it was bittersweet, but mostly sweet.

oh to go back and have a barn wedding....I don't even think they were thought of 16 years ago when we go married!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad he found someone. Of course Jo will never ever be replaced but it's good that he has someone to share his heart with again. xo

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

It's wonderful that weddings are now such a representation of the personalities of the bride, and groom. There is so much room to personalize everything, it makes me want to go back and do mine all over again.

It seems like a lovely, but poignant time for you.

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

Pam @ Frippery said...

Debby, that wedding looked beautiful despite the bittersweet feelings. I love the whole look and the sweet kitty added to the day. I am sad that you miss your cousin but wish for a happy life for the new couple. Thanks for sharing this beautiful day.
Hugs, Pam

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

It sounds like it was a bittersweet day for many who knew your cousin, Debby. The lights look really pretty. Yes, I think white sheets on the hay would have been a good idea, too.

Susie Q said...

It looks like such a pretty wedding...I can understand the bittersweet nature of it all though. Glad you were able to meet with relatives who live away though! Aways fun!
Thank you for sharing this!