Friday, April 30, 2010

My son and his birth sister

Our son's birth sister

Someone asked what happened to C. sister.  I'll try to explain.
After C. moved in with us we reunited he and his sister.  I would drive a total of four hours in one day so they could visit.  Her foster parents lived quite a distance away.  When C. and his sister would get together they were in their own little world.  We would just stand back and let them play.  We did have her spend the night a few times.  During this time C. started having gran mal seizures.  His behavior was also sometimes out of control.  We had our hands full with him.  We were seeing several specialists at our Childrens Hospital.  We really never were asked if we wanted to adopt her.  We thought about it.  I knew our life would be so different with two more and with their special needs.  Our adoption worker wasn't even sure if we could adopt C.  (I had my last cancer surgery just one year before)  To make a long story a little shorter, our adoption worker decided they should be split up but still remain in contact with each other.  A local couple decided they wanted to adopt her.  We were to meet them for lunch.  We really liked this couple. So she moved in....from this point I will call C.'s sister J.  Things didn't go well.  They gave her back to the agency.  While she was visiting us a couple of people showed interest in adopting her.  One backed out because of her special needs.  Another friend of ours had a friend that had lost a daughter in a car accident.  They contacted the agency and began to communicate with us.  Phone calls almost every day.  Finally a meeting at our house.  They loved her.  I'll never forget after they left J. was so confused.  We sat and read books and I tried to comfort what ever feelings she was feeling.  Paper work was done and it was time for her to move in.  C., the adoption worker and I drove 3 hours one way to take her for a week-end visit.  The agency really wanted us to be a part of everything as they wanted them to stay connected.  When we were leaving the adoptive mother (the adoption was just beginning not at all finalized.)  told C. right to his face.  You will always know where she is and we will see you on your birthday in just a few days.  I let them settle in for a few days.  I then called.  I called every night for several nights and the new mom would never talk to me.  Finally I insisted she come to the phone.  I asked what was going on.  She felt that J. needed to get used to her new family.  J. never returned to her foster home.  She was supposed to but this new mom....Leah was very over powering.  She told the agency that the foster parents had abused J.  They ended up loosing their license to foster.  Do I believe that happened, NOPE.  Soon after I get a letter saying that I was not to send any gifts or communicate with J. until she was 18 as she needed to focus on her new family.  The adoption worker set up a meeting with the four didn't go well.  The agency said their hands were tied.  WHAT!  The agency hadn't even finalized this adoption.  I should mention that these people had money and that the dad was an attorney.  They  let us see J. one more time at a McDonalds.  Our older sons went with us.  It was terrible.  She wasn't allowed to sit with us.  Other friends of theirs showed up.  We had gotten J. some little Disney figurines.  They left them on the table when they left.  One of our sons ran after their car to give them to them.  Did they stop, NOPE.  It was a terrible ride home.  My husband had to pull over because I was physically ill.  We didn't see her again for a year.  Since our mutual friends lived in the same town and our boys played football together, we saw her at a football game.  She was on the playground.  When we pulled up C. ran to her and they played.  L. wasn't close to her so she couldn't stop her.  Soon she sent her older son to get her.  He picked her up and C. ran after him crying.  One other time a few years later we were parking downtown at our 4th celebrations and saw her.  C. ran to find her and she just vanished.  We haven't seen or heard from her since.  We have written letters and tried to make them see that C.'s heart was broken.  We have recently found her on a couple web sites.  We have tried to contact her but she hasn't responded.  I'm sure she probably doesn't even know about us.  SAD, SAD, SAD
Backing up to when j. was first adopted.  They died her hair blonde as their deceased daughter was a blonde. They totally changed her name.  They had her adoption finalized and her adoption party on the day that their daughter died.  It was said to erase that bad memory.  They sent out baby announcements for the party invitations.....they even had a baby carriage on them.  So that's the story about J.  As far as I am concerned she was adopted as a replacement and for their NEEDS.  Oh, how I wish I could see her once again.  C. would love to see her.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Time for a story about adoption

Soon after I had my third cancer surgery I started working at a day care called Crayons.  I was selling real estate and couldn't deal being around adults and their doubtful looks at my survival.  Some days when I was feeling really down and had been shedding a few tears, the phone would ring.  The director would call and ask if I could drive over and rock some babies as they were short handed.  I'd wipe the tears and off I'd go to my therapy session.  What great therapy it was.  So before you think this story is about my cancer, I will switch gears on you.
One day a new little boy started at Crayons.  His name was Christopher, but I will refer to him as C.  C. was a foster child.  C. was three and half and had been in multiple foster homes.  He had been with his birth parents for 18 months.  They were low functioning and really not able to care for him.  In his birth home and foster homes he was abused.  His adoption worker said it was one of the worse cases she had ever worked on.
The first morning at Crayons he tore into all the toys and threw everything off the shelves.  The director worked one on one with him.  At lunch time I looked into his eyes and something strange happened.  I felt very connected with this little one.  He looked like my older son did at that age.  He just seemed to be so alone.  When I left that day I met my husband at one of our sons' basketball games.  My husband was already there and was sitting several rows above where I sat with some of the other moms.  I yelled up to him, "Hey, we got a new kid today and he needs a home, can I bring him home?"  (Where that came from, I have no idea)  He yelled back down to me, "  I'd rather have a puppy."  Then I said, "Well he bites.".  That was the end of that discussion.
The next day a thought came to my "bucket list" mind.  This is something I can do.  I have a wonderful husband and three great kids and we could give this child a home.  I called Children's Services just to inquire.  They told me he would stay where he was until he and his little sister (in another foster home) would be adopted together.  When the little sister was mentioned I was sure that nothing else would come of my inquiry. So on with life I went.  I started to fall in love with C. as time went on. 
Four weeks later it was Christmas and guess what I got.....A PUPPY.  That puppy came down with Parvo and was dying at the vets.  My husband was franic thinking he couldn't give me something that would die, in my fragile state. (The puppy did survive)
While the puppy was in the animal hospital, Childrens Services calls me.  They wanted to know if we could become emergency foster parents for C.  He was in the hospital very sick.  His foster mother didn't want him any more.  I called my husband and he said of course.  So quickly we were licensed and C. moved in.  We all loved him but the child never stopped moving.  Even at night he was non-stop.  It was a year later that we went from foster parents to adoptive parents.  There is soooo much more to this story.  At a later post, I will go into more detail.  So say tuned........

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Piper, Piper, Piper

Piper, don't you remember that the doctor said no running or jumping.  I think he also meant not to jump up on the kitchen table to lick up the remnants of the "Littles" lunch.  What's a mama to do.  You made me laugh and I needed that today.  (He jumped down too quick to get an actual picture....I thought this one went well with this post)

Monday, April 26, 2010

There will be days like this

Goose took this picture of me sitting down to pay bills.  I don't look too happy do I.  Right after she took this she handed me the camera because she had to run to the bathroom.  She made it to the bathroom but had an accident.  We don't get upset about these little things.  Let's see what else is going on....
*  It is raining non-stop
*  The Littles fought alot this morning.  There were lots of tears.
*  There are toys everywhere.  Don't worry clean-up time is near.
*  Izzy won't potty outside in the rain so she has had accidents today.
*  Izzy threw up on my lap.  Yuck.
*  Goose's soccer game will most likely be cancelled.
*  My tooth is actually starting to feel better.  It's been two weeks and three days.  About time.
*  I made a mistake on my bill paying
*  I have projects that I need to get done
So, I guess I better sign off and get clean-up starting.  Doubt if I get to those projects but we'll see.  Do you have blue Mondays?  I know it would be different if the sun was out.  Tomorrow will be better.

Monday blues

Then we came home to play outside til pick up time

We did go to the park....looks like the beach but it's a park.


Friday, April 23, 2010

Off to the park to play

I think it's a good day for a picnic at the park.  Rain is on the way.  Someone else's post reminded me of this story.
When our son was four, shortly after moving in with us, we were leaving a baseball game.  It  had recently rained and there will little puddles everywhere.  There was one huge  muddy puddle.  Well Chris walked over and laid down in that puddle.  He ended up riding home naked in a jacket of mine.
I will be telling you several Chris stories in the coming future.  I am building up to tell you about his adoption.
Enjoy the sun.  The littles and I are headed out to play.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Kiley - No family, no home, nothing but a suitcase, some books and a laptop

First of Kiley is a guy.  He's my son's closest friend from high school.  My son didn't have many friends as most of his school years were not in the local school.  Chris, our adopted son, had lots of special needs and our school farmed him out.  (I will be posting about Chris and his adoption soon)  Anyway, back to Kiley.
Kiley lived with his mother and grandmother for the first 13(?) years.  His mother drank too much and died in a car crash.  When his grandmother decided she couldn't care for Kiley she put him up for adoption.  A family in our small town adopted him.  They never bonded.  So off Kiley went to live with another family from his church.  Kiley is a smart person but social skills are a little lacking.  (That's not his fault).  Throughout high school he was my son's friend.  After graduation Kiley went to Utah to college.  That didn't go well.  He stopped going to classes and stayed in his dorm and  was on his computer constantly.  When he came home from college in the summer he came to live with us.  We told him he had three months to decide what he wanted to do.  Our son's disabilities keep him from being able to work.  So Kiley and Chris spent all summer playing computer games.  Kiley had no interest in doing anything or planning for when his three months were up.  After having a discussion with his last family we decided we had to try some "tough" love.  Kiley's father, yes he has one, lives in Alaska.  He is an alcoholic, Viet Nam vet, and on disability.  Kiley hadn't seen him for over 10 years.  We thought he should go see him.  Maybe it was the missing link for Kiley.  Since he was the only family Kiley had we thought that maybe his father could take some responsibility.  Once again that didn't work out.  To shorten the story....Kiley then was on his own.  He had a temp job in a book store.  My son wanted to visit.  So off he flew.  Still can't believe that he made it there on his own.  What an accomplishment.  He was there for 3 months.  Near  the end of this time, they had all their money stolen and were sleeping on the streets in November in Alaska.  We got Chris back home and into an apartment.  Kiley lasted, barely,  for a couple more years.  That leads us to the present.  Kiley finally a got a decent job,  and saved enough money to fly back to Ohio where we live.  We picked him up at the airport.  One suitcase, some books and a laptop..........all he had.  He is now living with our son.  Chris is on disability so Kiley has promised he will get a job.  Neither of them drive.....
Last night was Kiley's birthday.  We took the guys out for dinner.  My husband gave Kiley some money.  Afterwards, when we got home, we both said how sorry we felt for him.  He has no one, except Chris.  Chris is barely able to live alone so having company is awesome to him.  We have worries, needless to say.  Can you imagine not having a family.  Not having anyone.  It really is sad.  Even though Kiley is an adult he's still a kid without a family.
SO sorry this is so long.........I really needed to put this down in words.

You are my sunshine

Your blogs add sunshine to my day.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Poor Baby Piper

I'm sorry you had your surgery today and won't ever be a Daddy.  You would have made beautiful and sweet little puppies.  You came into out lives when we were still at a loss of your Big Sister Matty.  But, Piper, it is important that no little puppies be brought into our world to suffer.  You doggies deserve to have a happy home that is free of abuse and  have lots to eat and time to play.  You will soon get your sea legs back and be jumping for joy.  Mama will get you a new toy that you most likely will destroy very quickly.  Love you Piper.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The cake, the presents and the big birthday hug

Scrapbooking/Birthday Party

What fun.  My DIL rented a room at Archivers one night when we were at a crop.  She does the greatest decorations.  The invitations were a folded flower with a verse about friends.  The rest of the pictures are what things looked like before the 13 mostly 7 year olds arrived.  When my 4 year old granddaughter arrived she kept shouting, " Okay, I'm impressed" over and over.  We all stood in shock,  as that was quite a statement.  Grampy and Grammy  and my Son (The Daddy) were the adults.  Grampy was in charge of punching out letters and shapes.  He took his job very seriously, and even said he needed glitter paper.  The girls called him Larry the Bunny as one little girl had a bunny named  Larry.  (Makes sense, doesn't it).  Anyway it was a fun party.  Fun seeing what the girls did with their pictures.  Larry the Rabbit even said this was such a nice nice what the kids were doing.  Hmmmmmm, great hubby and Grampy.

Scrapbooking Party

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Happy Birthday Bedroom Makeover

Our granddaughter had a beautiful princess room.  Last year she decided she liked Bat Man instead.  I think that phase is over and now its "bugs".  Her old bedroom in her old house had a beautiful hand painted  by an artist, bugs mural.  Last night when we arrived for cake and ice cream her mama was busying redoing her room.  It was her birthday present.  Isn't it funny that "her" name on my blog is K. Bug.   The pictures are of her new room.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Happy Birthday My Sweet K. Bug

My oldest grandchild turns 7 today.  We so anticipated the birth of our first grandchild.  She came into this world as an unexpected emergency and her little heart didn't beat for 7 minutes.  We thank God that the nurse knew what to do and got that wonderful heart going so we could met her and love and her and cherish the day she was born.  She is amazing.  I always think of the Carpenters song and this line, On the day that you were born, the Angels got together and decided to create a dream come true."   I think they had second thoughts and didn't want to leave her here with this doting family.  But in the end they blessed us (on Palm Sunday, no less).  Thank you God and the Angels.

The Flying Springer Spaniel has done it again and Polka Dots

Last night I was trying to post.  Our beloved dog sitter stopped by to get paid for helping while I was in Colorado.  Piper, the Flying Springer Spaniel, flew onto my lap, where all laptops are supposed to be, right, and he slammed the screen down.  Since then I see rainbows of colors and once in awhile the actually screen.  If I keep hitting the screen it goes away.  I was getting a little rough, hitting the screen way too hard so closed the lid and went downstairs to the old antique.  Not even sure how to put pictures on this thing.  I can't stay down here long either, boo, I think it's God's way of saying I am spending too much time blogging.  But it is so much fun.
So.......if any of you saw the Elk Boose pictures.....excuse them.  I tried to delete.  I decided the picture wasn't clear enough.
Yes, I am returning to my old self.  That tooth was a nightmare.  I only allow myself short periods to be "down" and that time is up.  Things to do and places to go.
I wanted to tell you about my polka dot luggage.  Well.......I love this suitcase.  It's fun to stuff full of goodies to take to the grandkids and a few clothes.  I actually bought it at the airport for half price.  When it comes around on the turn table (I don't remember the real name of that thing) I can always spot it.  I have heard some giggles when others see it esp. when a white haired lady pulls it down and takes off.  Well, when I returned from this trip and retreived my ole first thought was..."Wow, this thing is heavy."    The next thing I noticed was if I wanted to go right it went left.  I sat down and noticed that one whole wheel had been torn off and no where in sight.  Geez.  I was right next to the claims dept. for the airline I flew,  so I stopped in.  I showed the guy not thinking he would do anything.  He took me in the back room and had me pick out a new suitcase.  It smaller and no doubt a cheap one but it has working wheels.  My dilema, do I paint polka dots on this plain black thing or do I dare go on about my way looking like every one else at the airport.  I at least think I need some polka dot ribbons.  ((((HUGS))))

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Tooth Fairy Was A No Show

Yesterday I had a tooth pulled.  Not a big deal, well it shouldn't have been.  It took an hour to get each piece out.  Lots of pulling and tugging. Never again will I do that awake.  Finally tooth was out and home I went.  The bleeding would not stop so back to the dentist.  Re numbed, cleaned and packed with some gel that is supposed to stop the bleeding and 3 stitches.  The bleeding has stopped now but it hurts.  Pain meds are helping but also making me really tired.  AND, the tooth fairy did not stop by.  He has been very kind taking care of me.
 I am glad to be home but so miss my kids out West.  I haven't gotten to see my granddaughters here yet and I can't wait.  Maybe tomorrow.  I missed my Mom's 83 birthday lunch.  And Doodle had a little brother that I can't see yet.  I have been Nanny to Doodle since she was 6 pounds, now she is 6 years.   Her baby brother was almost 9 pounds.  So, I must get over this little bump in the road and get back on my feet.  It's  beautiful back here in Ohio.  Everything is blooming and green.
Hope you all enjoy your Spring week-end.   ((((HUGS))))

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

snow and ice cream

We woke up to 4 inches of snow on the ground.  After lunch it was all gone.  Snow White and
Little Fella have been playing outside all afternoon and even had ice cream cones.  My last day in Colorado and I am sad.


happy baby q.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Hurry and take the picture of Grammy, Baby Q. and Babes. (no make-up, no time for that)

Baby Q. gets a little binky help from Babes (almost 4 months and 15 months)

Babes, Little Fella, Baby Q. and Snow White

Busy in the Rockies

I am catching up on all the babysitting with the grandbabies that I miss out on because of the many miles between us.  Easter was wonderful.  I miss my hubby and my other kids and grandkids but it was so nice being with the rest of my family.  I will randomly post pictures.  I haven't gotten out of the house much so the landscaping pictures will come later.  Enjoy the spring.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Happy Easter

However you choose to celebrate this season may your Easter be full of new life, hope, and peace.  Happy Easter.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Foothills, A fox, lots of elk

My daughter, Snow White and Baby Q and I went to a couple small towns in the foothills today.  They still have snow on the ground and the lake was still frozen in most places.  We saw several Elk grazing near the road, a fox, some geese, a few mule ear deer.  We also saw a buffalo park.   It started to snow while we were there.  The wild animals seem to know it is Spring and come out of their hiding places.  Makes one think of new life and the reason that we have Easter.  Happy Easter everyone.  I will post pictures soon.  The fox was to fast for my camera but I have the elk and the deer photos.